We all know the moment. We open our blog feed, realize we haven't posted in several months, weeks, or even days in an unprecedented divergence from our routine blogging schedules, and we suddenly feel so, so sorry. Next thing we know, we've found ourselves publishing our fifth post that begins with the sentence: "Sorry I haven't posted in a while..."
Sorry.
Life got in the way.
Sorry.
I haven't felt inspired lately.
Sorry.
I've been feeling lazy.
Sorry.
I'm trying to figure out where I want to take my blog.
Sorry.
I'm just not interested in blogging anymore.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
As an amateur blogger who has been saying "sorry" for years, here's a few things I want you to know about why you should stop apologizing for not blogging, especially if you're blogging just for fun.
No one is blaming you for not posting. No one is accusing you of being a neglectful blogger.
One thing I've learned about blogging is that the community is incredibly supportive. No one points unkind fingers at each other for not posting on normal Fridays, and no one harasses each other to know the exact reason why they haven't posted and how it better be a good excuse. Everyone just hopes the best for everyone, and wishes them luck in their non-blogging endeavors. So if our lack of blogging activity hasn't hurt anyone, then why are we apologizing?
These are all valid excuses. Actually, you don't even need to have an excuse.
If we haven't hurt anyone, then we have no obligation to explain why we haven't posted. We don't have to rationalize and justify our absence in a five paragraph post about how bad we feel about missing one post. So why do we feel so guilty?
You are being too hard on yourself. Your guilt is coming from your irrational, personal conviction that you messed up.
Plainly said, we've all had those days when we feel like a failure of a blogger. If pressure to feel guilty and to apologize is not coming from outside influences, then it has to be coming from within. We are counting on ourselves to post on every scheduled day. We are pressuring ourselves to be the best blogger in the universe. We are pressuring ourselves to be there all the time when others aren't requiring that of us. It's us. When we don't measure up to our own expectations, we feel like failures, but the world really doesn't see us that way. No amateur blogger here is going to degrade you for not being perfect. As amateur bloggers, we do this for fun—we do it because we love it. For many of us, blogging is just a hobby. And we shouldn't place unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be at a professional level when we aren't trying to make this our career. We are just trying to explore. So how do we learn to be kind to ourselves?
Life really does get in the way. That is reality.
Since blogging for many of us is just a hobby, that means we are devoting most of our lives to other things that are progressing us towards a career, a family life, and an education. If blogging is our hobby, then we should not be putting it first. We have to acknowledge that other things are more important. In a sense, we have to let go of blogging. Not leave it behind, but just come to terms with the fact that it is not as important as other things are. Blogging is not something we need to feel guilty about for neglecting.
It took me a long time to finally be okay with not apologizing every time I missed a post due to school, disinterest, or family life. As you all know, I currently suck at time-management skills (which is something I am slowly becoming better at) and between managing all of my priorities, blogging has often been reluctantly placed on the back-shelf of my mind. But I don't feel "blogger's guilt" so often for not posting. Why? Because I've realized that I have nothing to feel guilty about other than my own perfectionist brain screaming to me that I should feel bad. It took me several years to finally understand this, and that's okay. I apologized until I felt okay with not apologizing. But I had to work towards understanding that. I started by committing to resist the urge to apologize next time I missed a post or a few days/weeks. I resisted the urge to write a single "I'm sorry" sentence, even if it was in teeny tiny font at the beginning of my next post. It was hard to be okay with not measuring up to my own expectations, but after I realized where blogging fell in my priorities and I accepted that, I was okay with not apologizing anymore. It brought me a freedom that allowed me to expand my creativity, explore other facets of myself, and spend time on the things that are really important to me in my life right now.
Why am I writing this?
Recently I've been seeing a lot of my blogger friends around the blogosphere apologizing for missing a single post, or a few weeks due to life interruptions—which is totally understandable. To y'all: Instead of telling yourself that you messed up, I hope you can recognize that doing something you love is not about being perfect at it. Remember why you do it—you love it, and you're exploring it. You deserve to feel free as you do so. In the meantime, I wish you all the best in your non-blogging endeavors and urge you let go of worrying about blogging for as long as you feel you must. <3
Much love,
Nicole
