I am so excited for this review, guys! I literally just read this book yesterday in one sitting and am still recovering from the feels. This post is going to get a little deeper than normal, because the topics tackled in the book are more serious but very important to discuss, specifically handling mental and emotional health across the board. I have done my best to be sensitive, but hopefully I can communicate myself well.

Introducing today's book on review, How to Disappear by Sharon Huss Roat. Here are the details:

Vicky Decker has perfected the art of hiding in plain sight, quietly navigating the halls of her high school undetected except by her best (and only) friend, Jenna. But when Jenna moves away, Vicky’s isolation becomes unbearable.

So she decides to invent a social life by Photoshopping herself into other people’s pictures, posting them on Instagram under the screen name Vicurious. Instantly, she begins to get followers, so she adds herself to more photos from all over the world with all types of people. And as Vicurious’s online followers multiply, Vicky realizes she can make a whole life for herself without ever leaving her bedroom. But the more followers she finds online, the clearer it becomes that there are a lot of people out there who feel like her— #alone and #ignored in real life.

To help them, and herself, Vicky must find the courage to face her fear of being “seen,” because only then can she stop living vicariously and truly bring the magic of Vicurious to life.

In this beautiful and illuminating narrative, Sharon Huss Roat shines a light on our love of social media and how sometimes being the person you think you want to be isn’t as great as being the person you truly are.

I actually checked this out at the beginning of December as part of my Instagram aesthetic, ended up not reading it, and had to return it. So my sister decided to read it and told me to read it too—I was blown away. I rarely say that I love contemporaries, but this one is a story that I've been looking for a long time.



For a contemporary, I was impressed by how clean it was. There were no sexual scenes and the cussing wasn't bad enough for me to put it down, although the characters did swear. There was a little bit of crude humor but I didn't think it was a huge issue. There was some kissing, but not super intense and overly frequent.



I absolutely loved the characters! It's pretty rare that I can say that about a whole cast, but what I liked about the story was that it didn't categorize "good" kids and "bad" kids. Some of the kids did mean things, but everyone had issues, and once I got to know them a little better, I felt empathetic because they were scared and needed help.

I loved everything about Vicky. She was fresh and fun, and awkward—that made her extremely relatable for me. Vicky has social anxiety, but she doesn't find that out until the ending of the book. So the entire time, the book relates her perspective with all of these scary thoughts coasting through her head, and they feel too natural and too real and too frightening. It was a little scary how easy it was to slip into her perspective and read as if I were the one experiencing everything. My favorite thing about Vicky is that, as much as she is hurting, she's trying to help everyone else because she doesn't want them to hurt either. That's really powerful and inspiring.

Lipton was just precious. He was awkward and nerdy, but in a really cute way. It made me ache every time he was scared he had done something wrong when he hadn't, but I loved he was trying to work around his mental health problems. I loved that he helped Vicky get up the courage to stand up for herself and talk to people. I also really enjoyed how he encouraged her to talk about her feelings, not keep them bottled up.

There were also some minor characters that surprised me. I really liked Beth Ann's rough yet kindhearted personality and Marvo's silliness. I even started liking Marissa after a while. Every mentioned character somehow contributed to the story, and Sharon was able to open my eyes to see everyone for their true identity.



The story was well-structured and lengthy, but gripping. It cycled through several ups and downs, and when I thought it would end, it didn't. Sharon clearly didn't have her focus on the story itself, but on taking plenty of time to let the reader get to know all of the characters. 

While Vicky had social anxiety, and Lipton had anxiety, it also focused on characters like Jenna and Hallie, who did not have any stated mental illness but were hurting. This book is about the emotional issues that are hidden in plain sight.

Sometimes I think we forget that everyone feels depression and anxiety at some point (or multiple points) in our lives. There's a societal assumption that we are happy all the time, because we seem happy. We're blind to what goes on beneath the facade. Across the board it's become so normal to ignore each other that we don't think about what each of us might be going through. We don't remember that suffering is painful, period. I love this book because it's about reaching out to everyone, mental illness or no mental illness. Everyone needs help, and this story was such a poignant reminder to reach out to everyone.



Knowing how someone with social anxiety thinks is something that I've been wanting to know for a really long time, and reading this made me realize that people diagnosed with anxiety are not much different from myself. Many of Vicky's thoughts were amplified versions of my own repeated a hundred times more often. The story brought my fears to the surface, and I teared up through more than half of the book. I could hear my heart pounding and I felt anxious for Vicky and her friends. It was very realistic to me, and scary. Everything about it hit so close to home for me.

Sharon's writing style is also very raw, but it flows well. Everything makes sense even if it doesn't seem like it's supposed to, and I wasn't confused at all, probably because I was so invested in the characters. I also loved her descriptive tactics and characterizations. The little details that usually get glossed over stood out, and it made the reading interesting and fresh. 




Hmmm...so here is where I'm going to get a little bit fangirly. I loved Vicky and Lipton's romance. They started so awkwardly, Lipton having a very obvious crush on Vicky and Vicky too nervous to realize it. Their awkward little exchanges were super cute and full of humor. For me, the best part was that it took them a while to actually fall in love. Their first date was adorable! *squeals* There were some parts where I thought it was a little unrealistic, and dang I wish I could find a guy as nice as Lipton. 😩 On another note, I just thought that it's worth mentioning how accurate Vicky's and Lipton's mothers' conversation was. #beentheredonethat The romance is definitely cute, but it doesn't take the focus away from the real message, and as far as I could tell it isn't a romance-fixes-mental-illness story either.


So is this actually my first five star book that I've ever reviewed??? I'm shooketh. On another note, I was so glad to be able to start 2019 off with such an amazing book. I would definitely recommend it to anyone 13 or 14+. So excuse me while I go re-read it. *snatches tissue box*

It's finally 2019! It doesn't feel much different from 2018 to me, but a new year always has some sort of surprise in the future. So I thought maybe this would be a good time to highlight some of my high and low points of 2018 and then get into best reads of 2018, similar to a post I did last year.

• I took a trip to Washington DC for the first time with my family. We decided to tour the Smithsonian museums and some of the government buildings, and it was so so so cold. and cool, but mostly cold. Literally it was like 17 degrees outside and we decided to walk to all the monuments. O.o However, I loved riding the metro everywhere; that was super fun. :D
• I went to prom! First time, and it was super fun. My mother made this fabulous dress for me since we couldn't find anything cheap enough or worth altering. Prom was also my very first date. O.o So...I guess this is a sign I'm growing up? XD
• Girls camp in the summer was super lit but also extremely challenging. I went as a junior counselor for the first time and lets say that things didn't exactly go to plan, but I learned so much out of that experience, especially how to love people and not judge them.
• Youth conference to Palmyra, New York was also an amazing journey. I made a couple of new friends, and while the trip was mostly the bus ride up there, seeing the sights was like a spiritual bolster that I really needed. 
• Starting dual enrollment classes was also a major highlight for me. I loved my first semester, especially my English class and my math class. I set ambitious goals for this year education wise, and now I'm on a pretty good path to college. I just have to keep my grades up this year. ;)
• I took the ACT three times, and the second time they lost my test scores (>:[]) but I let it slide since on the third time I finally reached the score I wanted. :D I was actually pleasantly surprised because I got higher than I had expected. (Grateful for that timer breaking during the science portion!)
• I binged way too much Merlin last year, guys. Way too much. 
• My brother left on a two-year church mission. I'm super excited for him and proud of him too, because I know it's been a difficult year for him, but seeing him happier than he has ever been in his life is worth letting him leave. <3 
• I would say that my mental health has improved a lot this year. I'll talk about that more in a future post, but for now let's say that the worst phase I had was way back in the summer. Since then, I haven't fallen into any depressed stage for longer than a couple of days. :D

Wild Pennings reached thirty-eight subscribers this year! That may not seem like much, but it's a lot to me. Hopefully this year we can grow our little club some more. :)

The two most popular posts of the year were...



Five Struggles of a Blogger with Online Social Anxiety, with 14 comments and 125 pageviews, and 10 Middle-Grade Books YA Readers can Enjoy Too, with 22 comments and 117 pageviews.

I did my first collaboration with Lila Kims @The Red-Hooded Writer. We shared our experiences about pantsing and plotting our stories, and how it affects our writing. You can read Lila's post here and my post here. Thank you for working with me, Lila! :D

I started an Instagram account for Wild Pennings! You can check it out through this link or see my feed scroll by at the bottom of the home page. :)

Wow. I reviewed only four books this year...hmmmm. I don't know how I feel about this. I'll have to up that number this year and out-do myself. XD

Thank you for a wonderful 2018 of blogging! This blog would literally not exist without you. I've almost given up several times, but reading your comments and interacting with you guys motivates me to keep writing and expressing myself through blogging. Cheers to another year! :)


And now that highlights are out of the way, it's time for—*drum roll*—best of 2018!


Why does it not surprise me that it's another Ally Carter series. Y'all know how I rave about her books but this one maybe beats them all. I love how the series is written episode-style, so it's better of your read them in order, but it's not impossible to grasp if you read them out of order (like me, oops). I also loved the characters; they were stereotypical, but they fit the flow of the story well and made it fun and cozy. I wasn't a fan of some factors, but I honestly could not figure out half of hte plot twists. So if you like a twisty, unpredictable, mysterious action story, this is for you.



Not too much romance, and plenty of family bonds and history. It was slow but enchanting and I loved every second. Most importantly of all, this book made me think and feel. You can read my full review here.




I learn something every time I read this book, and I'm glad I read it again. I was at camp and going through a rough patch emotionally and needed a pick-me up. Reading this book reminded me how to care about other people and see the good qualities behind the surface. Later in the year, I bought a second copy just because mine is so worn. ;)




I don't remember the titles of many books that set me on edge, but hmm...The Alex Rider books always give me a thrill. So let's say Point Blanc. Honestly loved the action and suspense and it's been so hard to find good action books lie those.




I don't know if this counts as a genre...but I have officially fallen in love with The Silver Eye web-comic by Laura Hollingsworth. Definitely one of the best things I've discovered this year, but it's agony to wait for a new page each week. I guess that's why there's binge-reading. XD

The characters are complex and relatable, and somehow she manages to make me love every single one of hte,, even the villains, who I SHOULD be hating. D'X The story is an epic fantasy. which I haven't read much of for a couple of years, but this really helped me engage back into that genre. Also the artwork is just gorgeous.



I didn't have any issues with this book about the story or the characters or the cleanliness. In fact, there really isn't any major reason why this book is on here other than the author repeated Ryan's name about every other sentence and it drove me nuts. I honestly couldn't finish it because I was so aggravated. Mentioning a character's name more times than necessary is a pet peeve of mine, especially when the character is the only one in the scene. It is middle-grade, so if you want to read it, the story wasn't bad and the characters were okay. The thriller part was taking too long for my taste, but ugh. No. I cannot handle the name thing. Thinking about it makes me slightly riled. X'D



I think the only classic I can remember reading this year was Wuthering Heights. As much as I hated the characters, I loved the story and the ending was an unexpected surprise. Also Emily Brontë has the most beautiful story-telling voice.